Necessary Evolutions...
Nothing is more important than allowing your work to evolve and unfold as you try and test it with those for whom you are creating it.
If you’ve been reading Earned Lessons for any period of time, you know being candid and upfront about things is my go to for sharing. While I am not naive enough to think anyone sits around each week anxiously awaiting the next post on this blog, I want to apologize for not sharing something with you last week and explain the reason for the gap.
As is often the case when one misses a target or deadline, there were myriad factors at work behind the scenes. Not the least of those was realizing I’d reached the point where it was time to start sharing the framework for unlocking your earned lessons but lacked a clear plan for doing it.
The work evolved and changed as it unfolded…
When I first started the work on unlocking the insights buried within our life’s most difficult moments, I had no idea what to call it. I needed a way to frame the concept that would resonate and make sense to others. Something that could quickly be understood, or at least make people curious enough to engage in further conversation.
During the Testing 1-2-3 phase of the work I played with different phrases and tracked the responses. Over time certain words stood out and suggested a central theme around the stories we tell ourselves about our pasts. Since that felt like a mouthful to share in impromptu conversations, I started testing the short phrase “The Backstory” as the framing for the work.
It seemed to resonate well and invite more conversation, and it made it easy for me to create connection without it feeling too personal too soon. So as I have done more times in my career than I want to admit, I quickly purchased a handful of domain names for “The Backstory” and decided that was the right frame of reference for the work.
In the weeks and months following that decision a workbook was created and a workshop was developed and tested. At its core was the concept of having deep conversations with yourself about your life’s journey. The central idea being to examine your backstory to identify the lessons you learned along the way.
Testing the workshop with in-person audiences and via online delivery, as well as through a couple of one-on-one remote coaching experiences, revealed the power of the approach. It also revealed a potential limitation with the name.
Prior limited thinking can put a lid on future impact
Specifically, it became clear that while The Backstory label served people well in starting the examination of their journey, it could also keep them trapped in the past. You see the real objective was to go beyond understanding and contextualizing past experiences. The real goal was to capture the hard earned lessons from their journey and understand how they had impacted them.
What I began to see as I worked with people using the path I had mapped for The Backstory Workshop was that they owned the lessons they identified. It was life changing to realize that within the most difficult moments they had endured lay a meaning that had value. It was even more powerful to find a way to share those lessons to help others.
Making the work approachable was a guiding principle…
Since that had been my goal from the outset—to equip people to leverage their earned lessons in service to others—it became clear the work needed to be relabeled using Earned Lessons as the moniker.
Ultimately what I realized was that when the work is framed around the Earned Lessons, it is more approachable and easier. It removes any stigma associated with what happened, why it happened, who did it, and what you did or didn’t do to protect yourself. It makes it clear from the outset that what was learned from the experience changed you and can help you help others.
The peace of mind that comes from being able to turn the most difficult moments into lessons you can share delivers peace of mind in a way that is difficult to describe. It is also hard to understand until you’ve done the work.
A couple of important and necessary caveats…
I’d be remiss if I didn’t acknowledge that the Earned Lessons Framework has been anecdotally shown to help people who have already done a lot of work in making peace with their pasts. It can be confronting and it can take a long time to complete. My argument that it is well worth it comes from my personal experience and the impacts I’ve seen in those with whom I’ve been privileged to share the approach.
It is important to understand most of those people had already made the decision to examine their lives and identify a way to use their story and their life experience to help others. Further, the framework we’ll be covering in the weeks ahead is not intended to be a replacement for counseling or therapy. It is intended to help those who seek to make peace with their past and create a path for helping others do the same.
If this resonates with you, and you are anxious to apply this to your backstory and unlock your earned lessons, I look forward to sharing our path forward next week!