Detecting Dissonance...
What happens when you realize your work is no longer fulfilling and feel conflicted about your effectiveness and impact.
It’s fair to say we all experience moments of discontent in our professional lives at times...
…A project doesn’t turn out as we had hoped.
…A perfect client who decides to go with a different provider.
…A customer we were sure was moving forward decides to pull the plug on a project.
…An obstacle that derails an initiative and forces us to abandon the path we’re on.
The list could continue, but the point has been made—our professional lives (like our every day lives) have moments that make us pause and wonder about our next step.
That happened for me on the flight from SFO to PHL back in 2015.
While capturing my top of mind thoughts in a draft summary report of the weekend’s strategy session, everything suddenly become convoluted. My usually comfortable process felt disconnected from reality. The comments shared privately by the people who chose not to speak up during the groups discussions rattled around my brain derailing my attempts to cogently capture the process.
Pondering what was going on (after closing the laptop and surrendering) I searched for similar moments. Much to my chagrin, it quickly became apparent there had been several across the past few months. Moments where my disgruntlement after facilitating a process got in the way while writing up the summary report.
And they all shared a common feature…
The decisions made did not reflect the true thoughts of the group because some of the voices had not been heard and considered.
That’s when it hit me—I was experiencing dissonance in my work (and my life)—aka, inconsistency between the beliefs I hold or my actions.
Driving home from the airport, I pondered the situations behind those feelings. And I had an epiphany. There were people in the room felt their voice did not matter. They weren’t comfortable speaking up, and they were being ignored and suffering in silence.
It was like a punch in the gut when I realized this because for many years I was one of those people. Silenced by experiencing childhood trauma at the hands of someone who threatened to kill me if I spoke up, I often kept my ideas to myself.
The angst experienced in that moment changed everything…
…It became clear my story/experience could help others if I could find a way to share it.
…The need for a change in my work was glaringly obvious as I could no longer accept the reality that I was complicit in their voices not being heard.
…The desire to find a way to turn the pain from my past into purpose and discover the message within the mess became a bit of an obsession.
That led to a radical decision to quiet the dissonance…
My immediate focus upon returning home was to find a way to shut down my business so my energy could be directed toward unlocking and sharing the message that mattered most to me.
Less than 120 days later I sold my business and refocused. I began pouring all my energy into understanding my journey, and the lessons earned from my experiences, so I could help others move past their silence and find their voice.
PS—I’m curious…have you ever experienced a level of dissonance in your work or life that led you to make a major shift? If you’re comfortable sharing it, I’d love to hear about it. Please feel free to post a comment or send me a DM.